It’s Time….

Happy Friday All! I hope everyone is doing well! I had the most fulfilling conversation yesterday with a friend and it was exactly what I needed! In a day and age where everything seems to lack authenticity, we need to stop and recall a few things to remembrance! I just want to briefly remind us all of a few things :

1. We all need people in our lives that are completely honest with us. If something is a bad idea, we need people who care enough to tell us the truth!

2. Love yourself! Stop forcing the restraints of other people on yourself! Stop trying to live up to unrealistic standards! We were all created to be ourselves, not to be identical to everyone else.

3. Stop falling into the comparison trap! You are exactly where you’re supposed to be! Erase the idiotic imaginary timelines that force you to believe that you have to be perfect and you have to have everything accomplished by a certain age! Everyone’s story is written differently! Stop looking to other’s for validation and self worth and focus on YOU!

4. Adopt an attitude of optimism! No, everything won’t be perfect, but work on changing how you allow yourself to react to things. You’ll never be able to control anybody but yourself!

5. Enjoy the present! Too often we are consumed with next week and next year and we lose sight of right now! Sometimes we are chained to our past and things we wish we could change! NEWSFLASH!!! YOU CAN’T! The past is gone and the future may never come. All we have is right now, so make the most of it! We are all unique and we should embrace that!

We will face every tough day just like we faced all the other tough days behind us! Life is too short to be miserable. Focus on the things that matter most! Everything else will fall in place! Have a great weekend!

FOCUS!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY ALL! I hope all is well! I just wanted to stop and reassure us of a few things before we end the work week and tackle the weekend! Stop the ripping and running and FOCUS! FOCUS on yourself! FOCUS on your family! FOCUS on your dreams! FOCUS on the things that truly matter in life! Stop limiting yourself and forcing yourself to fit into someone else’s box! We spend far too much time comparing ourselves to others and finding faults with ourselves! There is only one you, so be YOU! Love yourself! Stop falling into the comparison trap and tricking yourself into believing you aren’t enough just the way you are! Erase these self inflicted timelines for your life! If you aren’t married or don’t have kids, or don’t own a home, or don’t have your dream job/salary.. IT’S OK! Everyday you wake up, you’re given another chance to keep pushing towards those goals and to keep growing. Here’s a little secret… IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF LIFE, NONE OF THOSE THINGS MATTER ANYWAY. When you die, no one will congratulate you on owning 10 businesses at 25 or buying 5 houses by 30! What will live on after you are gone will be your impact on others, the memories that were made, the lifestyle you lived. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with those things at all. Strive to accomplish every goal you set for yourself, but if the timeline seems to change, it’s ok! When you work on the inside, it transforms the outside. So work on being honest, faithful, be a person of integrity, genuine, trustworthy, respectful, and loving. Those things are worth far more than any material possession! So let’s stop putting ourselves down and comparing our flaws to others. No other person should be your standard for life! FOCUS on being the best YOU that you can possibly be! Because no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be anybody else. I don’t care how much you kick and scream, you’ll still be YOU! So love yourself, and enjoy yourself! All the goals and dreams and growth you desire will come.. in due time! I hope you guys enjoy your weekend! 😊

LIFE IS SHORT!!!

If you know me then you know that I strongly dislike this time of year. Not because of the weather or the back to school traffic, but for a more personal reason. Around August and September each year, I manage to lose someone special in my life! This year didn’t break the tradition unfortunately! With so much going on, not just in my life, but in the world, the word FLEETING keeps coming to mind. LIFE IS SHORT! Even if you live for 100 years, life is short! With that in mind, I just want to leave us with a few reminders:

1. LIFE IS SHORT so enjoy it! Make memories while you can! Travel and see the world! Take pictures! Celebrate each moment!

2. LIFE IS SHORT so forgive fast! Don’t hold grudges! Work out your differences swiftly! The last time you talk to someone could very well be the LAST time!

3. LIFE IS SHORT so be mindful of what you do and say! Life is but a vapor, but memories live on forever! Think about your legacy and the things people will remember you for long after you’re gone!

4. LIFE IS SHORT so be prepared! No, that doesn’t mean live in fear, but it’s an obvious fact that we are all going to go one day, so be prepared. Do you have a will, do you have life insurance, any investments your family should know about, burial or cremation preferences? Make your wishes known to those close to you! Having to bury a loved one is hard enough, so having your affairs in order makes burden of planning and financing much easier.

5. LIFE IS SHORT so live in view of eternity! Think about your life and your relationship with God while you still have time! Think about your moral decisions and how they can impact your life and the lives of others around you!

Death isn’t a topic that I love to talk about, but it’s an event that is CERTAIN regardless of race or social or economic status! So enjoy life, make memories, embrace the ones you love while you can, make wise decisions, and don’t sweat the small stuff! I hope you guys have a great weekend!

FRICTION!!!

Happy F-Word Friday All! Today’s word is FRICTION! FRICTION is typically defined as the resistance that happens when one surface or object moves across another. For example, consider rubbing two rough stones together! Think that would cause any FRICTION? Of course! Too often I think we give the word FRICTION a negative connotation. Yes, it can be a negative thing, but not always. Think about a rough surface that is being sanded to become smooth. That is indeed FRICTION right? But the end process is better than the beginning! Think about all of the FRICTION that is caused when a diamond is being formed! So what am I saying here? Don’t be scared of a little pushback! Fight to create the life you really want! Don’t let your fears and uncertainties stifle your growth! Embrace FRICTION! Use it as a tool and not as a hindrance! If you never write that book or start that blog or podcast, you’ll never know just how impactful your life could be! Sometimes our journeys help others more than they help us! Are there things in your life that you want to change? Do it! Don’t stop at the first sign of resistance and FRICTION! In the words of Nemo’s Dad, “Just keep swimming!” 😉 You’ll be surprised at the amazing results you’ll get when you refuse to quit! So fight FRICTION with determination! Don’t wait until next week or next month, get busy NOW!!! Have a great weekend! 😊


	

FRAZZLED!!!

Happy F-Word Friday Everyone! I know.. it’s been a while since we’ve done one! 🙂 OK, RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER!!! Go ahead, I’ll wait!.. Interesting! If we are all honest, no one’s hand should be up! Life is full of ups and downs, and everything in between! No matter how well we plan, life still happens to us all! Sometimes we are just FRAZZLED! To be FRAZZLED simply means to be exhausted or burnt out! Maybe you’ve been going and going like the energizer bunny and you’re finally hitting the brick wall! And you know what? IT’S OK!! We can recognize where we are and start to pull ourselves out of it! Make it a key point of every day to have a few moments alone in silence to reflect or meditate or just to sit and be still. Find a book that sparks your interests and commit to reading a few pages a day. Be purposeful about something, even if it’s just walking to the mailbox! Walk slow and enjoy the sun and take note of each step! Do something everyday to check in with yourself and to check out of the chaos! Maybe we could all use a little less social media scrolling time! Whatever you choose to help you unwind and reconnect with yourself, just do it fully! We give so much of ourselves to others and then neglect our own needs! That’s not conducive long term!! Let’s start honoring our committments to ourselves! We are important! Yes, our jobs and families are very important, but if you are in a FRAZZLED state, how beneficial are you to others?! It’s ok to be selfish and to recharge! No one can run off fumes forever! Take time to take care of yourself! The world needs everything you have to offer, but in a healthy way! So, if you are currently FRAZZLED, it’s ok! Acknowledge where you are and create your escape plan! Let’s make today great! 🙂

Rejuvenation!!

Well hello there! HAPPY FRIDAY!! It has been quite a while! I hope you are all doing great and 2021 is treating you well! So much has happened since we ‘spoke’ last. There have been births, deaths, celebrations, and disappointments. It seems like the more things change, the more they stay the same! Migraines, panic attacks, car accidents, illnesses, and job lay offs, social and racial injustices; you name it, it has happened! With so much going on in the world, on the news, in our homes, at our schools, and in our communities, I think it’s time that we all step back, take a deep breath, and collect ourselves! Have you been guilty of overexerting yourself and spreading yourself extra thin? Are you running on fumes? I’m sure you’re not alone! Never forget to take time for yourself! Too often we give so much to everyone else, but leave ourselves hanging short. We devote all of our time and energy to our friends and family, and then when it comes to our own lives, we are lacking! In my last post, we discussed detoxing for the soul. During a detox time, a lot of things are removed in order to purify or cleanse the body, but I think it’s now time for rejuvenation. Now that we’ve worked on ridding our lives of certain vices, let’s focus on the things we should add back! Starting with OURSELVES! O= Optimism U= Unity R= Resilience S= Strength E= Encouragement L= Love V=Vibrance E= Earnestness S= Sufficiency. Let’s be optimistic about our future! Let’s live, work, and play with a spirit of unity! When things happen that are beyond our control, we shall be resilient and continue to press on despite the difficulty! We will be strong physically, mentally, and emotionally! We will encourage ourselves and others, and express love and gratitude continually! We are vibrant and full of life! We are sincere and true about what we believe in and how we carry ourselves! Lastly, we realize that we are sufficient! We are enough! We are right where we are supposed to be in life! We have jumped the exact number of hurdles that we needed to prepare us for bigger and better! Despite the grim outlook on the world around us, only we have the power to control ourselves and how we let things effect us! So let’s take some time and truly focus on OURSELVES!!! ❤

Detoxing for the Soul!!

Happy Friday Everybody!! I hope you are all doing well and staying safe! It’s December and almost that time of year where everyone typically starts making New Year resolutions! You know the ‘New Year New Me!’ people!! 🙂 With the holidays among us so many people are already thinking about detoxing and how they plan to start next year. Most people will plan to commit to a new diet and then throw it out of the window by March. People sign up for new gym memberships that they never use, you know how it goes! While so many people are worrying about their physical bodies, I’d like to recommend taking care of our mental and emotional well being. We are so quick to detox our bodies physically, but what about spiritually and mentally? Starting with the inside can only help to make the outside better! So, why do most people detox? They want to cleanse the body, get rid of harmful toxins, and feel better! What better way to detox than to remove ALL toxicity? What about that toxic relationship? What about the negative energy you get from ‘so called friends?’ What about that hypercritical self talk? What about all the broken relationships you haven’t fixed? What about the apology you’ve been waiting on for years? When will we fix these things and remove them? The depression, anxiety, guilt, low self esteem, lack of confidence, doubt, and fear..release it all! One of the hardest parts about detoxing is the beginning. You go through withdrawals because you aren’t getting what you’re used to. But if you can tough it out beyond the beginning days, your body starts to refresh itself and you begin to feel renewed. You feel lighter and refreshed! Aren’t you worth that? Don’t you owe it to yourself to be the best version of YOU that you can be? What’s stopping you from detoxing your WHOLE LIFE and getting to the peace you deserve? So before you hop on the next diet bandwagon, stop and detox your inner self first! Release all those toxins of negativity and hurt, and be renewed! Truly cleanse yourself starting with the inside first! There is still plenty of time to end the year on a good note! Don’t allow limiting thoughts to stifle you and cause you to carry the same baggage from this year, into the next one! So take some time to yourself, be honest and truly transparent, recognize where you are mentally and emotionally. Write out how those barriers have hindered you, and write out actionable steps to take to correct them. It’s time for you to invest in yourself! LET’S GET BUSY!! Finish the year strong! ❤  🙂

Be Grateful!!

Gratitude is something we seem to skimp over sometimes. We like to compare it to happiness and joy, but gratefulness is a little different! Being grateful means to be truly thankful and full of appreciation. It’s different from just being happy in a moment. Gratefulness runs much deeper. It’s a deep feeling of thanksgiving, but it also reciprocates the appreciation received. Being grateful allows you to turn a negative situation into a blessing. I’ll never forget the 9/11 stories of so many people who were late to work, or missed their train. There was one story in particular of a person who spilled their coffee all over their shirt as they were walking out the door for work, so they had to turn around and change. Can you imagine how upset and mad they probably were in that moment? But imagine how grateful they were when they thought about how the coffee spilling made them late for work, but saved their life! Sometimes the outlook can look bleak and unfulfilling, but we have to remain grateful! If for no other reason, we should be thankful simply because things can always be much worse! I found myself depressed about the passing of my Grandad recently, but I had to change my attitude. Instead of focusing on his presence being missed, I chose to focus on all the good times and all the things he accomplished in his lifetime! Where we choose to shift our focus can make all of the difference! So let’s actively choose to be more grateful and count every obstacle as a blessing! 🙂

Happiness….

Do you know anybody that is ‘chasing happiness’?? perhaps, that person is yourself! There are numerous times in life where you may find yourself pursuing happiness or chasing your dreams! I think aspiring toward better and higher things is a great idea, but I wholeheartedly disagree with CHASING happiness. If you’re chasing something, that means you don’t currently have it. If I’m always chasing happiness, I will never actually have it. In essence, happiness will always be somewhere else or with someone else. Too often we treat happiness like a postdated check. We must wait to ‘cash out’ on the benefits. What if I told you that we could have happiness RIGHT NOW! We can choose to be happy in our current states! That doesn’t mean that we don’t have goals, or aspire for more, but it means that while I’m still working towards accomplishing more, I can still enjoy and love myself and my life RIGHT NOW in this moment! Happiness isn’t in the future, it’s right here, right now if I CHOOSE to have it! Most of us attach happiness to a number on the scale, or the size of our jeans, or a certain job or position, or a social status, or a spouse, or the amount of money in our bank account! True lasting happiness will never be found if it always resides outside of you. Take some time to love yourself; build yourself up, encourage yourself, motivate yourself, and enjoy the present! Happiness is found in the present, not the future or the past! The present is the only time we are guaranteed, so let’s enjoy it while working towards more happiness in the future. Sometimes we can’t enjoy the ‘right now’ because we are too anxious about tomorrow or next year. Just simply enjoy today, and tomorrow will take care of itself! ❤ 😊

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!!

Well Hello There! It’s been a little while since our paths have crossed! I hope you all are doing well. There is so much going on in the world these days. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been missing in action for a few months. I took some time off to focus on my own personal issues and to strengthen myself mentally. When I first began ‘Coffee Stains and Panic Attacks,’ my very first blog for F-Word Friday was the word FRIENDS! Man I have really been blessed in that department! I’m thankful to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. FRIENDS that won’t let me drop the ball. Sometimes I just like to run away from my talents and pretend they don’t exist, but you guys wouldn’t let me! You know who you are and it is greatly appreciated! Thank you! ❤ They say absence makes the heart grow fonder! Well we shall see just how much you guys missed me! 🙂 During these different and often difficult times in life, it’s important to have a support system to help you fight stress and mental breakdowns. That could be friends or family, therapy, massages, online shopping (I tried 🙂 ), a good book, music, exercising, anything that can help to relieve anxiety, stress, and allow you to relax and come to yourself. No one knows YOU better than YOU! Everyone has different limits and breaking points. Taking time to better yourself is never selfish! We all need time for ourselves. The better I am, the better I can be to serve others! We all have our moments, but moments don’t last always. They should have expiration dates. If you feel like you need help battling anxiety or depression, please reach out for help and support! These are challenging times and we all handle things differently. Thank you all for your continued support. I am so grateful! Let’s continue to sprinkle positive seeds everywhere, as we navigate life! Take some time today to just list out all the things you are grateful for! It’ll do you some good to focus on what’s right and not on what’s wrong! I hope you all have a Happy Friday, and an amazing weekend! 🙂